Two Futures
by Sunsoul
Summary: Rated PG for future considerations of the story - This story will look at two of Raph and Ninjara's possible futures that come after their breakup in Alaska - more chapters to come... sometime
1. She loves me not Ch1

- Here I take a look at what could've happened with Raph and Ninjara's relationship post their break up in Alaska - I'm gonna alternate chapters between the two futures if I get my act together, this is coming straight out of my head, so it may take awhile - enjoy the confusion- in the Adventures Universe -  
  
~Two possible futures~  
  
I was sick of it all. Everything. Why was I gonna go on patrols to protect these worthless humans that didn't give a spit whether I lived or died. Then again how else would I get a chance to bust a few skulls? Stupid people. Stupid life. I miss Ninjara.  
  
Raph fumed as he channel surfed. His brothers had just left for the evening patrol and he had refused to come. They'd been home for 3 days and already Leo was back on his ridiculous schedule. Raphael had refused to go on patrol and he had expected Leo to rip his head off, but Leo just shot him a smoldering look and motioned for Mike and Don to follow him. So Raph had flopped down on the couch and furiously channel surfed.  
  
Stupid. stupid. arrrgh! That's it I'm going!  
  
Raph tossed the remote on the coffee table and headed for the door. He went topside and stuck to the shadows until he was able to climb up to a rooftop, he decided he would patrol on his own and beat the snot out of the first mugger he encountered. Anything to get his frustrations out, he just needed to hit something, anything, preferably Mokoshan, but the overgrown Chihuahua was in Alaska, and so was Ninjara. So now the next thug he encountered would get a beating with someone else's name on it. Raphael ended up sitting on that rooftop a long time, and after a long time of glaring into the empty streets he stood up and stretched. He'd been sitting and fuming and just getting angrier, so he left to wander the alleys. The one night he went out looking for a fight and no one was offering, bummer.  
  
Raph missed her, the scent of her fur - even when she was wet it smelled nice, her big brown eyes - even when she was angry at him she was still pretty, she was everything soft and womanly, but she was hard as nails at the same time - Raph's kind of woman. And he missed her, but she was the one that wanted to stay behind, to go home to Japan, and he would've willingly gone with her, but she said no, and that she felt neglected.  
  
How could I neglect her? I love her! But she hates me - why? Its all stupid. Maybe I should go home.  
  
He had not shed a tear for Ninjara since they had parted and he was not going to start now. He headed for the nearest sewer cover and returned to his territory, he kicked an old beer can all the way home and then stood staring at the door a few moments before he pulled it open and went in. Everything was silent, his brothers had been home already, and were most likely asleep - except for Leo, who sat at the kitchen table waiting.  
  
"So you came home. Would you like to talk or is your jaw still made of iron?"  
  
Leo's attempt of humor was lost on Raph, who simply glowered at Leo and carried on to his room and shut the door. Leo sighed, realizing that Raph may be a lost cause. 


	2. She loves me Ch1

-ok, here's how its gonna work: I will alternate chapter of 'she loves  
me' and she loves me not' - this is all coming straight outta my head  
onto the screen, so I dunno how well the continuity will be. we'll see -  
but in the possible future of she loves me Raph and Ninjara get back  
together - in the possible future of she loves me not things will happen  
as they did in Topside (the first chapter of this you have already read:  
bitter Raph) , I dunno how far this will go. well, enjoy the confusion! -  
Sunsoul  
  
~She loves me~ Ch. 1  
  
We spent days wandering around in the bush trying to get away from Mokoshan's little arctic world, but it was harder getting out than coming in. There were a lot of bad snowstorms, we even had to dig out of the tents in the morning because the wind had blown drifts over them, we were just lucky the tents didn't collapse in the night. Didn't have any troubles with those freaky bears or wolves or anything, we were just fighting the elements. I didn't mind, I really needed something to fight and if we hadn't gotten these storms I think I would have torn apart Mike first, he kept talking and asking me how I was feeling - he just didn't know when to shut up! And I would have shut him up too if there hadn't have been storms. I didn't let anyone share my tent, besides Mike snored like a chainsaw, and Don kicked in his sleep, and April - well, that would've been weird and Leo - he propably gets up every few hours and meditates or something stupid like that. They were all driving me nuts in the daylight hours and I just wanted to get away - so I did. I rolled up my tent in the dead of night, packed enough food for a few days and went. I was surprised they didn't follow me, or hear me or anything. I'm glad they didn't, because I just would have left again and they knew it, that's why they left me alone. I'd go home some time, but just not now, I didn't want to go back to that life without. I just couldn't be there! I'd lose myself in this icy wasteland and see what happened.  
  
My second morning away from everyone I awoke to a crackling campfire and the smell of roasting meat. I was groggy and confused so I just opened the tent flap and took a look out - it wasn't my brothers - instinct kicked in, I grabbed a sai and jumped into action - then I realized it was that Dave guy. Stupid, he shouldn't sneak up on a ninja like that, but he did save my life once already, so I figured I owed him one, so instead of chewing him out I put down my sai and sat by the fire with him. He didn't say nothing, he just smiled and gave me some cooked meat and we ate in silence. He didn't say much at all, thank goodness, I expected him to be going on about that spirit stuff again. I started to pack up my tent, to get ready for another day of walking to. nowhere.  
  
"So, you comin' with me?" I asked.  
  
"Where you headed?"  
  
"I dunno."  
  
"There's a town, not to far away -"  
  
"I don't do well with people."  
  
"They won't mind you there, trust me."  
  
So I followed him. It was a Native town - aboringinies - inuit - whatever you're supposed to call the now, and they all looked at me strange, but not the way the New Yorkers do, not scared and surprised, it was more like awe or something, there was more respect to it. It was just better, I didn't mind it so much. Dave said that sometimes a wolf spirit would wander into town, and they'd sighted a walrus spirit so I guess a 'turtle spirit' -me- wasn't a big deal to them so much. These people were kinda traditional in thinking, but they did have TV's and fridges and stuff too, everything ran on generators. They had ski do's and schools and stuff like that too, but it was rustic there, real cut off from everything else. I figured I might get used to living like that. I figured I may stay awhile if this Dave guy didn't mind a freeloading turtle-spirit.  
  
-coming soon - Ch.2 of 'she loves me not' - 


	3. She loves me not Ch2

*****Hallelujah! I can upload!!!!!******* Raph continues to fume, spiraling down into hopelessness beneath New York City -  
  
~She loves me not Ch. 2~  
  
I woke up late. Leo hadn't even bothered to wake me for morning practise - good. It was propably late afternoon, but I didn't care. I pulled myself out of bed and didn't even bother to put on my bandana or belt or anything. I didn't care. I didn't wanna be around anyone, so I looked out my door to make sure no one saw, grabbed my trenchcoat and hat and slipped put the lair door. I'd wander the sewers till it got dark, then I'd head above ground. It was sure hard to get away from everyone in this stupid city. The people were like freaking ants, they were everywhere, and my brothers knew every inch of the sewers, so I couldn't really get away there either. If only people would give me my space, get out of my way, everyone was always poking and prodding, 'speak up Raph what's wrong Raph, how do you feel Raph, it wasn't meant to be Raph' all the nattering my brothers did just got on my nerves.  
  
"Wasn't meant to be? She was the only one that understood me. She was like me. How could it have gone wrong?" I muttered with a huff.  
  
I wandered through a breach in the sewer wall and came upon an abandoned subway platform and sat on one of the remaining benches. I didn't sit, I slouched, it was more comfortable.  
  
Sometimes I wished I had family that lived far away that I could hang with when my brothers and Splinter got on my nerves, but I didn't I only had them. Well, Splinter didn't really get on my nerves, he was the only one that respected my privacy, wish my brothers would clue into that too, sometimes they really ticked me off. Like now- Donny's psychobabble was pretty useless, Mike's sappy 'love lost' sayings were really getting on my nerves and Leo's attempted heart to hearts were just not my style at all. At least they weren't chasing me around 24/7. I figured I'd come home when I was ready - but maybe I wasn't. I just wanted to take off, but where to? I didn't exactly blend into a crowd, and I didn't have any money, so I guess I'm stuck here, in this hell-hole, great!  
  
I didn't feel much - except for the bad stuff. At least when Ninjara was around I felt something good. Things didn't seem so pointless 'cause someone was there for me no matter what. That's what love is supposed to be, unconditional, it's not supposed to change, not like this anyways. She loved me 'cause she wanted to, not 'cause she had to. My brothers hafta stay with me because we're the only ones like us, but she had a whole race of people and she chose to be with me. But then there was Mokoshan, what's that Chihuahua got that I don't. fur? And what did she mean about her needs? I loved her! Wasn't that enough! She knew I loved her - didn't she? She had to, its not like I bought her roses or took her to fancy dinners, she knew I didn't have money, but I loved her. I really did.  
  
I sucked in a deep breath, fighting the urge to put my fist through the wall, but maybe the pain would feel good. Instead I yelled, it was a pretty good roar, sent the rats scurrying at least. Then I did punch the wall, a few times. Then I stared at my swollen, bleeding knuckles and flexed them. The adrenaline felt good, I couldn't feel the pain yet, I flexed again and watched the blood drip. Then I sighed. This sucked, a lot. 


	4. She loves me Ch2

Note: I don't own the TMNT, or any of the Mirage characters, or any of the Archie adventures characters more of Raph in Alaska. perhaps he'll do a northern tour and dip into Northern BC? -  
  
~She loves me Ch.2~  
  
Dave was a nice guy, he didn't talk a whole lot, and it was just what I needed. I was on his couch wrapped up in a blanket with a cup of coffee. Dave had a TV, but only 3 channels. After a few days of peasant vision I began to wish I'd exiled myself to somewhere that could receive cable. I figured I might as well go out and do something if this was a place where people wouldn't run away from me screaming. Dave had said something last time about the people up here being more acceptant and acceptance for the changed world. I put on my winter gear and headed out.  
  
"Coming back?" Dave asked as I pulled open the door.  
  
"Yeah, just need some air." I replied.  
  
I went out and the people did look at me, but they smiled. Weird. An old woman noticed me and hurried over to me, I tried to act like I didn't notice her.  
  
"Turtle-spirit, why have you graced our little village with your presence? Do you have wisdom for us?"  
  
"Yeah - don't give your heart away unless you wanna get it broken."  
  
"I will spread your message gracious -"  
  
"Don't bother, I'm not a spirit, I'm just a turtle that looks like a man."  
  
"But how can this be?"  
  
"It just is. I'm no spirit or god or whatever you think I am."  
  
"But you are still special."  
  
"Sure whatever."  
  
Raph stalked away from the woman, now he remembered why he usually avoided people - too many questions. Perhaps he should head back into the bush, but he'd have to get his stuff from Dave's place. He wandered back to Dave's and walked in.  
  
"That was short." Dave commented.  
  
"Yeah, I think I'm leaving."  
  
"Could I come with you?"  
  
"You don't wanna, I'm not going anywhere specific, just south."  
  
"I'm alright with that, I always travel."  
  
"I'm going by foot."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"No."  
  
Dave just looked at him for a moment, he had a very open expression and he was easy to read. Raph picked up his pack and sighed.  
  
"Look, Dave, I'm grateful and all, I just need to go - alone."  
  
"I understand. Safe travels my friend." Dave opened the door for him with a smile.  
  
"Thanks." Raph shook his hand and left, heading south out of the village.  
  
He walked all day and when he stopped for the night to set up he found his pack had been stocked with supplies. Water, dried meat, dried fruit, crackers, tea - enough to last him a week or so if he was careful.  
  
"How.?" Raph shook his head and set up his tent.  
  
He started a little fire and used his only pot to make some tea from snow. He sat back and looked up at the stars. This was what he needed, to forge his own path, to get out on his own, no one was holding him back, no one was directing him. no one was angry at him. He wondered if Ninjara was feeling the same way. nah, she was probably preoccupied with that Mokoshan guy. He'd heard her talk about how handsome Mokoshan was and now he wished he'd had the chance to rip a bigger chunk out of that guy, make him a little less pretty. That guy really had no respect, just taking off with his girlfriend. Stealing her heart.  
  
"I stole it first." Raph muttered.  
  
He doused the fire and crawled in his tent.  
  
The next morning he packed up and went, the sun was actually out, and Raph got a good view of the tundra, he could see the west coast in the distance, and figured that was a good way to head. He'd skulk about the Canadian coast and see what he could find. Dave had mentioned a walrus man. He walked for another day and camped out in some dense forest. It was nice, smelled of pine.  
  
After a few days of travel he had been surrounded by forest and brush, it was getting warmer and damper and the undergrowth was getting thick. It was all dense moss but there was real grasses and flowers growing, he figured he'd passed the permafrost and he was in a more temperate zone. The further south he went the warmer it would get, it was spring after all. If he was at home, it would've been warm for months now, but Canada was fabled to be a frozen wasteland. He knew about the Okanagan valley though, the lakes, the fruit, the farming, he didn't think he'd head that far, but he wondered if the coast got weather like that, then he remembered Vancouver was supposed to be rainy, Raph hated the rain. Crap. He figured he'd stay where he was a few days, it was ok here, pine and cedar, no snow storms. so he set up camp. On the fourth day he awoke once again to the smell of cooking meat. He scowled and cursed himself for not being more alert, he quietly picked up his sais and crouched at the doorway.  
  
"Who's there?" He growled.  
  
"Dave."  
  
"Dammit!" He tossed back the tent flaps, "How do you do that!"  
  
Dave smiled a little, "I know how to track, and I know this area."  
  
"Yeah you just know everywhere don't'cha." Raph sneered, "Why are you following me? Don't'cha have a job or something better to do?"  
  
"No. Are you hungry?"  
  
Raph sighed, "Yeah."  
  
"Truthfully, I came seeking the walrus-spirit, I have seen him recently, just west of here. I just happened to find you along the way."  
  
"Sure, sure, whatever. Just fork over summa that rabbit."  
  
Dave gave him half and they ate in silence.  
  
"Y'ever think this walrus-spirit might just be another man like me?"  
  
"Since I met you, yes, that is why I came back here, to be sure. And the wolf-spirits, they are like you too?"  
  
"Sort of, they're supposed to be descendants of an ancient race that migrated from Asia. There's a whole island of fox people out by Japan."  
  
"Really. fox people.?"  
  
"Yeah, foxes, wolves, then us turtles - and I guess there's a walrus now."  
  
"Are there any more?"  
  
"There was, but they died, you woulda liked the one guy, his father was the jaguar-spirit in Brazil."  
  
Dave blinked in awe.  
  
"Truly, and his mother was a shamaness. And there was a gecko-man, a wolf- man, an alligator man, a manta man and a coupla aliens."  
  
"Aliens? Truly?"  
  
"Yeah, you wouldn't believe. and my master is a rat man."  
  
"It sounds like you've led an interesting life."  
  
"I guess. It seems pretty crappy to me. Y'know where I grew up? In the sewers of New York city. This is one've the few times I've been out in the real world. I've had to hide my entire life."  
  
"Why did you choose to leave home now?"  
  
"My brothers and me and a coupla friends were going to Anchorage to see off some friends, we figured we'd make a camping trip out of it, just to get away for awhile. Then we had some problems."  
  
"You were here with others? Where are they now?"  
  
"Heh, long story - after you found me, I found the wolf people and a lot of crap happened. I needed a break, so I went off on my own."  
  
"And your brothers didn't come after you?"  
  
"Nah, they know better than to follow me when I'm ticked."  
  
"Oh." Dave swallowed uncomfortable.  
  
"Don't worry Dave, I'm not ticked with you. just everyone else. You don't get in the way as much."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"So you didn't come out of hiding because the world is becoming more accepting?"  
  
"I dunno what world you're talking about Dave, but we hafta get out of New York so that people don't find us. That's another reason we came out here. Our friend April ended up getting my brothers on a TV talk show, we had a little trip to Arizona and then we wanted to dodge all the publicity, so we came up North." Raph purposely left out a few key elements to his story, for his own good, he didn't want to be sitting there for hours answering Dave's questions about the future turtles and outer space and all that. "I don't think acceptance is the thing here, my brother was tortured by some government mooks, but we supposedly got a lot of public sympathy after the talk show. So instead of being hounded by reporters and stuff, we came up here."  
  
"That sounds a little like acceptance to me."  
  
"Didja miss the part that included TORTURE? My brother was blinded from a skirmish we had in Jerusalem, our plane crashed and the coastguard picked him up and TORTURED him! That ain't acceptance!" Raph yelled.  
  
Dave shrank back a little, "I'm sorry," He mumbled.  
  
Raph fumed for a minute.  
  
"But you said the public sympathized." Dave broke the silence again.  
  
"Yeah, what's that gonna do for me? Nothing."  
  
"you may not have to live in the sewers."  
  
"I was getting used to them."  
  
"You wouldn't have to hide."  
  
"So kids would get scared of me 'cause I'd get to walk around without my trenchcoat, goody."  
  
"Well, what is it then?"  
  
"We're the only ones like us. Being in the public eye just means more people are gonna poke and prod at us and try and figure out what we are and what makes us tick - like some Tlingit dude that won't drop the subject." Raph trailed off.  
  
"Oh."  
  
Silence.  
  
-don't worry people, Ninjara will eventually be a topic, and Dave seems to be blithely stubborn, so he'll be around to analyze Raph for awhile - 


End file.
